A Big Step

When they placed you on my chest
and I smiled and said, “Oh, it’s you”,
as if I already knew the corners of your face,
this day felt so very far away.
Baby days spent in a bubble
with toddler days stretched out ahead –
fort-building, slow toddler-paced walks outdoors,
and afternoons curled up in my bed
amongst piles of books.
This day felt so very far away from then.
And they warned me, but I couldn’t know
that oh! this day would come at break-neck speed
(I still can’t quite believe it’s here).
But here we are indeed.
You are a schoolboy, wearing a uniform that makes you seem older than your 4 years –
new shoes, slightly too-big-for-you jumper and bag, and the biggest grin upon your face.
(Mine are the only tears).
For you will go now and walk towards that door
and everything will be different from before.
You will smile and wave, and take that step forwards (such a big step in those little shoes)
so excitedly and in such a hurry
that my heart will ache,
knowing how much will change.
You are my eldest, my teacher; we go through the firsts together (it is all new to me too).
And I know, just as we have gone through every new stage hand-in-hand, finding our way,
that you’ll show me how to take that step towards the door
and let you go,
and that it will be ok.

 

 

7 Replies to “A Big Step”

  1. Well isn’t this just an emotional rollarcoaster! I got a few sentences in to this poem and started to cry at my desk at work! You have such a beautiful way with words and I think that everyone who reads this will be able to relate to it and the emotions that you must be going through. Never stop putting your thoughts on to paper, you have such a wonderful gift and it’s lovely for you be able to share it with us. You’re my constant inspiration, thank you. X

  2. You have a wonderful gift in describing milestones and life events just as they really are. Every step along the way, every inch of the journey, beautifully and perfectly captured and shared in a way that draws you right in to the moment as if it was your moment with your own children. In some cases, these are moments from days gone by. Remarkable. Thank you for sharing the start of this new journey for you and Isaac and may his first footsteps through the doorway to his primary education be blessed for your both.

    1. Thank you so much, Fiona, for your lovely comment. I am really touched by your kind words xx

  3. That’s really beautiful.

    1. Thank you so much x

  4. Beautiful ☀️

    1. Thank you so much x

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