I usually don’t make new year’s resolutions but as the shiny new year nudged out the old, I vowed to make some changes, and inspired by Tara at Sticky Fingers and her New Year’s Promise, I have decided to write them here. I think mainly because when I’m having ‘one of those days’ these words will be here to remind me that everything is ok.
I am, by nature, a worrier and an over-analyser. Since becoming a mother almost 15 months ago, my worrying and over-analysing have reached new, dizzying, heights. This year, though it is not just about trying to worry less (must take lessons from your ever calm father, Isaac) but about being kinder to myself. In recent months I have beaten myself up time and time again, calling myself a failure and berating myself for a list of things I should have done. For not being more organised. Looking back now on the last few, very busy, months of 2013 I realise that I put so much pressure on myself, and that I am have been incredibly hard on myself. And so I want to make some promises to my tired body: I will rest more; I will take more baths; I will swim more; I will go to bed earlier so I can deal with the early mornings. I will occasionally stop whizzing round the house when you are asleep, Isaac, and I will drink a cup of tea whilst reading a magazine. I will try to have more faith in myself, to be confident in my decisions, to trust my instincts. I will remind myself that sometimes just getting through the day is enough. It is ok that my life is a bit more disorganised and chaotic – I am still new to this. I am trying to juggle work and motherhood. I am doing the best I can – and in the end that is all that matters.