He led the wayAnd wherever he goes, you follow.You joined the line behind him on his first day,(Indignant when we gently told you no, you couldn’t go.Don’t be in a rush, your time will come,and soon enough).And when I let go of his hand,I still had yours to hold,My littlest.You filled the house with noise […]
Musings on Motherhood
Now You Are 4
Four. It doesn’t seem like four years since you arrived. I look back at your tiny crinkled baby feet photos and your one-year old smile, Your two-year old pigtails. I think back on this last year as we celebrated you at three, And look at you now. The laughter and mischief twinkling in your eyes. […]
Behind the Squares
It’s a funny thing, social media. I work in social media and I love Instagram in particular – I love the community of mums and the inspiration I get on a daily basis (everything from clothes and books to mindfulness prompts to places to visit). I also love playing around with photography and words, and […]
Metamorphosis
A poem about becoming a mother In the moment you arrived and your cry echoed through my heart I became someone new. A different version of myself as if I’d stepped from a cocoon. Still the same but changed. So deep deep in love, exhausted, transformed, in awe and terrified. A mother. Still […]
Lucky
Parenthood poetry I woke tired and grumpy today after a night with an unsettled little and a lie-in that was broken up by prodding fingers and shouts and shrieks. I went outside to the garden, cradling a cup of tea drank in some sunshine, picked the last of the sweetpeas, took a few moments […]
A Big Step
When they placed you on my chest and I smiled and said, “Oh, it’s you”, as if I already knew the corners of your face, this day felt so very far away. Baby days spent in a bubble with toddler days stretched out ahead – fort-building, slow toddler-paced walks outdoors, and afternoons curled up in […]
The Path Ahead
I can see her, round that corner Standing there, Waving as he walks away, Kissing her before she runs off, Feeling more than a little lost. The silence in the house is deafening. She is still getting used to having Time again Up till now it was in such short supply Oh, how she’d longed […]
Now You’re Two
You’re two. I look at you and wonder when you changed and how you grew so much before my eyes. I didn’t notice the small changes day by day – it took me by surprise. Suddenly – overnight, or so it seems – you are a little girl with a personality so big and a […]
My Lap is Always Your Chair
The walls will change And the rooms and the doors, Yes, things may look different But it will be as before. Walls are just walls. A house isn’t a home when you take it apart When it’s empty of everything It’s missing its heart. When we pack up the books, the hand prints and frames […]
Dealing with a panic attack
At the weekend I found myself lying on the floor of a cafe in Dundee gasping for air like a newly landed fish. My ears were ringing, my heart racing at what felt like an impossible speed, and every few minutes I felt like I was about to pass out. One minute I was shivering […]